Days are getting longer

I am going crazy, literally! I feel like I am going to explode with excitement, fear, anxiety, and so many more emotions. According to the schedule of incoming flights and according to Jason he should be home with is no later than next weekend, so we have around 9-11 days left. I can't be any more specific than that due to security, not that "they" are getting there Intel from blogger but...so I have cleaned the house and spaced out my errands so that they are timed right and I have caught up on the things I wanted to accomplish before he gets home. So now I wait. and wait. and wait.

This reminds me of this time last year when I felt the same way about Clayton's arrival. I had cleaned and blah blah blah in preparation for him just as I am for Jason. Jason and I tried to squeeze in as much together time as possible before Clayton and I am trying to squeeze in as much time with Clayton before Jason gets home. I have a connection with Clayton that I feel I will never have with anyone else. We did this last year together and bonded to a level I will always cherish. I know that Jason needs to bond with Clayton as well and I am very excited that that time will come VERY soon. But somewhere in me I am scared that I will "miss" my time with Clayton. Is it weird that I am a little jealous and scared? I am also feeling like I am going into uncharted territory for me. I have never been a wife and a mother at the same time. Jason left so soon after Clayton was born that we have never actually been a family. Are we going to mix well, what if we don't, what if Clayton shuns me for his "new" parent? There are to many emotions going on right now!

I will keep you all updated on what I know about Jason and will post pictures of our trip to San Antonio really soon!